Last week I wrote about intentionally relaxing. One notion I referred to was letting go. This week I would like to elaborate on what that means.
As humans, we naturally invest ourselves in many aspects of daily life. For instance, we have a vested interest in our ability to find shelter, so we buy or rent a residence. We have a vested interest in eating and drinking, so we keep our shelves stocked with food enough for many days (or weeks, or even months in some cases).
We invest financially, but in doing so we are also investing emotionally. We keep our house clean, we modify it, we personalize it. We also protect it, going to great lengths to lock others out and to secure our stuff. We emotionally attach ourselves to the resources we've obtained.
This is wholly natural. We need to have shelter, so when we get a home we want to protect it. We need to have food to live, so when we buy or find food we want to keep others from taking it from us. This behavior is part of being human.
But it is not necessarily the healthiest way to exist. As an analogy, think about how we act around fatty foods. Historically, fat was a scarce resource that had tremendous energy value for the body. In our modern world, however, food is abundant, and the last thing we need are energy-rich foods in large quantities. Still, it is natural for our bodies to crave fatty foods, even though we know they harm us. The primitive drives still exist, even though the world has changed.
Back to protecting our resources, we invest energy in obtaining things and we invest energy in protecting these things. We attach ourselves to our stuff. For the same reason we protect our food and our house, we also protect everything else we decide is ours.
Imagine if you had nothing. Picture for a moment having no house, no cupboard, no refrigerator, no furniture, no computer, no games, no antiques, no vehicles, no heirlooms, no art, no collections; imagine having no stuff whatsoever. Take that to the extreme (we're not there yet): imagine having no wardrobe, no clothing other than what you're wearing right now. Imagine having just a toothbrush, a few body ornaments, and a small bag containing perhaps a book, a photograph, and one or two other personal effects.
Hard to imagine? Does it seem impossible to live this way? It might seem impossible, but it's reality for millions around the world. The poor in many third-world countries live this way. And they somehow manage to survive.
This is also how many Buddhist monks choose to live. Why? Aha, that's the important question. Why would someone make a point of living without possessions? They are learning to overcome attachment.
Remember, it is human nature to want to possess things. One path to transcendence, then, is the path of possession-less-ness. With each item given away, the monk becomes less invested in his own self and possessions and can focus his energy on others, on the community, on the world. By having no possessions, the monk realizes the true value of all the stuff, which is zero. We are born with nothing, we die with nothing. The monk lets go.
What do you hold on to? What are you invested in? Are you invested in stuff? Are you invested in an ideal or a cause? What spiritual experiences are you giving up by holding on? Are you so invested in yourself that you are missing life?
When you skydive, it is common to hold on to a bar attached to the aircraft before jumping. How do you let go? You just do. Holding on prevents you from having the experience. If you want the experience badly enough, letting go is easy.
I challenge you to let go. Pick an possession that takes a lot of energy to maintain and release it. Give it away: you can always find someone who will take your stuff. Once you don't have it any more, take the energy you had been putting into it and focus that energy elsewhere, such as on a relationship with a child or friend or lover.
Practicing with physical possessions is relatively straightforward. It is harder to release conceptual creations. Here's a good experiment: pick an ideal that holds you back and let go. Does that sound difficult? It is. And yet it can be done. Maybe you believe life should be fair for everyone on the planet. Can you let go of that ideal and accept than unfairness will exist? You might find some interesting results if you do.
How about a belief that limits your life? Maybe you believe you're not successful at something because you're too [anything: tall/short, fat/thin, bald/hairy, masculine/feminine, whatever]. Can you let it go? Can you live as if the belief were false?
When you have truly let go of your investment in an ideal or belief, you begin to see the world through new eyes. You see success where others see failure. You see abundance where others see scarcity. You see joy where others see grief.
How do you let go of the limiting beliefs in your life? The same way you let go of the bar you're suspended from. You just make the choice and do it. Doing it isn't hard, it's deciding to do it that holds most of us back. Be the monk: decide to let go.
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From the editor
I am still off the grid: no email, no telephone, no IM. Basically, I'm unreachable, even by family. If you send feedback, realize I won't be able to respond for a few weeks. I'll be back in August.
Healthy thoughts,
Jeff
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